As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He shit in the fireplace
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
