Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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