Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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