8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
