PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
