I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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