Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
