Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
