it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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