Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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