I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
