I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
