WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Pooping to opera.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
