So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
