If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
