I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
