Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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