It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
