I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
