Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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