I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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