Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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