Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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