I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
