She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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