Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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