I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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