Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
