you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
