just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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