I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Drunk is not a location!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
