Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Randomize
