So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
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just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
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The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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