PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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