why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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