It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
