I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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