Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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