if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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