is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
