i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
