he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
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Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
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Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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