i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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