Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
