Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize