i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
