The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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