Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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