I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
