I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
