So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
