I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
