lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize