Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
