Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
