my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
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The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
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i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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