WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
