i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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