I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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