I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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