i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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