dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
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He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
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Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
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