It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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