Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
