OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
