new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize