im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
