I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
