I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
