About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
