You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Randomize
